Assigment 4 Re-edited

My tutor recommended me to re-edit the final assignment. His critique was mainly about the narrative and wrong English: I did have some trouble following your narrative and your English subtitles though. Robert also proposed me his structure which I could follow and make the story more clear.
Here is the result:

Robert's comment: It's 100% better.  Quite professional, flows well and you've put the pieces together coherently.  Only a few English errors (during) but these are minor. Well done.